JOKES 2

JABU POST UME JUNE/JULY EXAM 2012: ANSWER ALL QUESTION(General Question)
Note no calculator or any electronic devices.
Time:- 1hr:30mins only

(1) What is the name of the first Igbo boy that opened shop at Alaba International Market?
(a) Don jazzy (b) Anyim Pius Anyim (c) Gov. Peter Obi

(2) Who addressed herself as a widow while her husband is still alive?
(a) Jonathan Patience (b) Turai (c)Stella

(3) Who Strike Pass?
(a) BH Boys (b)Thunder (c) ASUU (d) Patience Dame

(4) You can sharpen cutlass on Banky W’s head
(a) True (b) false (c) I don’t know

(5) What are the names of the two people holding hands when you power-on a Nokia phone?
(a) Charly Boy and Denrele (b) Ryan Giggs & John Terry (c) OBJ and IBB

(6) If the past tense of take is took, the past tense of make is…?
(a) Mook (b) Maked (c) Maken

(7) I have a dream is to Luther King as I have no shoes is to …..
(a) GEJ (b) IBB (c) OBJ

(Cool What is the plural form of GARRI… (a) Garris (b) Garried (c) Garium

(9) If Adekunle Chukuwma Ciroma Finally Passes WAEC, will he write JAMB next year?
(a) No (B)Yes (c) He will opt for NURTW

(10) Which University has the highest no. of babes that travel to Dubai for 2weeks and return with British accent?
(a) Ebus (b) Unijos (c) Uniabj (d) Malu

Examiner/ Invigilator…..Reverend Kool

JABU POST UTME 2012… (ENGLISH QUESTION…20 MARKS)
1. Btw Jackie Chan & Jet Li, who go beat who?
2. Btw Indomie & Macaroni, which one swit pass?
3. Btw Girlz & Guyz, who do amebor pass?
4. Btw C. Ronaldo & Messi, who fine pass?
5. Btw BB  &  Money, which 1 girlz like pass?
6. Everybody don steal hem mama money true or false?
7. Btw Aki  &  Pawpaw, who tall pass?
9. Btw Fowl  & Goat, which one popular pass?
10 Btw ME wey write dis useless & nonsense thing and YOU wey dey read am,
who no get work??…lwkmdfh… quick
copy am before POST UTME go see u……

By Reverend Kool

Tips for telling a joke

1. Make sure you know the joke and can get it straight before you tell it
2. Keep it short and sweet
3. Avoid telling one joke after another, and give others a chance to tell a joke
4. Jokes are suppose to be funny, not hurt someone feeling
5. Learn to tell a joke without laughing until you are finished

FOLLOW THIS RULES AND AUDIENCE WILL BE YOURS TILL NIAGARAFALLS

RIDDLES

1. What is the most difficult train to catch-The12:50, because it 10 to 1 if you.
2. What tongue can wag and yet never utter a word-The tongue of your shoes
3. What is smaller than an ant’s mouth-What the ant eats.
4. What is the thing you can break when you says it is name-silence
5. Where can everyone always find money when they look for it-In the dictionary
6. What is the differences between here and there-The letter “t”

DICTIONARY OF NATIONS

1. What nation is a fortune-telling nation-Divination
2. What nation is tough on rats-Extermination?
3. What nation is a fanciful nation-Imagination
4. What nation is dreaded by students-Examination
5. What nation is a religious nation-Denomination
6. What nation is a learning nation-Inclination?
7. What nation is a dramatic nation-Impersonation

What word of six letters contains six words besides itself, without transposing any of its letters?

Answer: herein=he, her, here, ere, rein, in

1. In what common word, does the letter 0 sound like letter I?-Women
2. Name two words that begin with p ,in which the p is silent?-psalms and pneumonia
3. Name three common words containing the letter B in which the B is silent?-doubt,  debt, subtle
4. What word, by changing the position of one letter, turns into its opposite?-united

WHAT WORDIN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE CONTAINS THE GREATEST NUMBER OF LETTER?

It is some chemical with 1185letters: acetylseryltyrosylserylisoleucylthreonylserylprolylserylglutaminylphenylalanylvalylphenyetc

2^nd longest word: pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanocanoconiosis [45 letters]

3rd longest word: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious [34 letters]

4^th longest word: Hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist [34 letter]

5^th longest word: Floccinaucinihilipilification [29 letters]

6^th longest word: Antidisestablishmentarianism [28 letters]

By  Aina Bukola