JOKES

LAUGH IT OFF

A married man was having an affair with his secretary, one day they were so much engrossed in the act, and they decided to take  off for her house, where they made love all afternoon.

Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, only for them to find themselves waking up around 8.00am,as the man threw on his clothes he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified she nonetheless complied.

He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

Wife: where have you been? demanded his wife when he entered the house

Hubby: darling I can’t lie to you, i have been having sex all afternoon with my secretary, so i fell asleep and didn’t wake up until eight o clock

[Looking at his shoes]

Wife: You lying bastard, you have been playing golf.

LAUGH IT OFF2

A man was walking in a bush, and he saw a lion in front of him, he knelt down and was praying to God to deliver him. When he opened his eyes he saw the lion kneeling also and praying he ask the lion,

Man: Mr lion are you also a Christian .

The lion:  shut up! don’t u pray before you eat.

Reported by Bukky Aina

Wole Soyinka during his young days…………………..

Nobody would have imagine what Wole Soyinka looked like, when he was young.

This picture shows how handsome he looked like then.

Photo By Ajayi Taiwo Peter

why Christian Universities is for the rich and not the poor in Nigeria

Mere looking at the Nigerian present situation, it is something to be proud of, and not to be proud of. we have come to the conclusion that private school, which is suppose to be the hope of the masses, is now where they run away from, and where the rich people, now see as a place of comfort. Our religious leaders have certainly established the fact that education is a solid building block for a stable and successful future in a child’s life; they have gone as far as building Universities to physically state their point.

We applaud the congregation of these churches who offered their tithes, donations and weekly offering to see this vision come to light; in turn expecting that their widows might pay off when their children can acquire a decent education through these schools. Not an unreasonable assumption I must add.
On the bright side, these universities have long been completed unlike most projects in Nigeria, the downside is you need to have bagged some cash to afford sending one child let alone two to the now termed ‘Nigerian Elite Universities‘. Here are a list of these universities and an approximate fee that you need to pay to attend.

1. BOWEN University owned and operated by a Baptist Convention, charges ₦650,000 as tuition fees per session.

2. COVENANT University established by Bishop Oyedepo of Winners Chapel ₦640,000 as tuition fees per session.

3. BENSON IDAHOSA University charges ₦500,000 as tuition fees per session.

4. BABCOCK University established by The Seventh Day Adventist, charges ₦450,000 as tuition fees per session.

5. REDEEMERS University owned by The Redeemed Christian Church of God , charges ₦450,000 as tuition fees per session.

6. AJAYI CROWTHER University established by The Supra diocesan board of the church of Nigeria (Anglican Communion), charges ₦350,000per session.
7. MADONNA University a Catholic University charges ₦350,000 as tuition fees per session.

All of these universities were built from tithes and offerings of the people who now cannot afford to send their children there to study. Where has the moral of the church gone?

These schools were all built by the efforts of their congregations who kept sowing seeds; special offering seeds, first fruit seed, redemption seed, thanksgiving seed, harvest seed, tithes, pastor’s birthday seed, church building seed, evangelism seed, father’s day seed, mother’s day seed, children’s day seed, pastor’s cake seed, olive oil seed, insecticide seed, indomie seed, ground nut seed, miscellaneous seed, etc seed. These schools are now elite schools, only for the children of the rich. The gainers then use the proceeds to buy private planes and jets to fly up high in luxury while their members sleep hungry and next Sunday, they will read and preach Malachi 3:6-12.
Reported by Ajayi Taiwo Peter

QUOTE (MATHS LOVE).

My dear love, yesterday as I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometry lane. There I saw your circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you, my heart was in a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of the radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated my love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I would not resolve you into partial fractions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity. You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves round your acute personally. My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 180 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.

By Rhemmie